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The Skinny Black Man
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July 22, 2004
So I only have 7 more days until I leave. Normally a week is a decent amount of time to do things, but suddenly I feel like I don't have enough time. I officially started packing today. Why so soon you ask? I know myself better than I would like to at times and I know if I wait until a reasonable time to start packing I won't start until the day I leave. I'm just a procrastinator like that. As it is, I meant to start packing last Monday and just got started today.
The other problem is that I'm a notorious over-packer. I'll pack a full suitcase for a weekend trip to Vegas. If I'm leaving for a week, I require two full suitcases, so you can imagine the problem I anticipate now that I'm leaving for a month. I think what happened was, I was almost a Boy Scout, was taught to be prepared for every possible situation. Now I know a few former Boy Scouts who were taught to be prepared and are not over-packers, I think where I went wrong was that my Scout development was halted at the Weblos level (just before boy scout), and I assume as Scout the need to be prepared is tempered by some form of practicality or something that would stop me from packing my entire wardrobe.
I tried to subtly solicit some help by asking Dean what he was packing. I figured Dean's a fairly practical guy, maybe if he tells me how little he's packing it would make sense to me and I could do the same. No. I spent about 2 hours packing this morning and I'm still not done. I kept packing and unpacking trying to figure out what I should and shouldn't take. How many pairs of jeans should I take? Socks? How many sweaters? It's going to be ridiculously cold there and you know you don't handle that well. (see previous post) Good point! Sweaters are important, I must be warm at all costs. So how many do I pack? How many do I have? OK, I probably shouldn't take 16 sweaters with me to Scotland. Yeah, that's probably a few too many. How about 10? That way I only wear each sweater 3 times...assuming I wear a sweater every day. What about turtlenecks? Great idea! I have 5 black turtlenecks, I'll pack them all! The great part about turtlenecks is there versatile. I can wear them by themselves or with the sweaters, or with.....Button up shirts! Of course, why didn't I think of that before? Yes, button up shirts will be great in case we get invited to some high brow party or something. Oh crap, I guess that means I should bring some form of slacks. 2 pair, in fact, 1 black and 1 brown. Yeah good idea, just in case there's a formal event....although if there's a formal event, I might need a suit. Crap, of course I'll need a suit. There might be an awards banquet or....or....Maybe the Queen will come see our show and love it so much that she invites us back to the castle (the one in Scotland) for some tea and crumpits. Wait a second...for that I should have a tuxedo! I don't have a tuxedo! I wonder if I could rent one for the month, just in case. It would probably cost a lot of money, but maybe they'll give me a deal because I'm taking it for a month. Yeah, I'll walk into the shop and say "Hey, man! I'm just a skinny black man trying to look good! Can you help me out?" Yeah, and.....Ok maybe the tuxedo is too much, but I will need a suit.
OK, let's see what we got here. This is too much stuff, we have to lose some of it. OK, I really don't need this much underwear. Sure, it would be nice to have enough underwear so that I could wear a different pair everyday and not have to wash until I get back home, but that's not necessary. I mean, do you really need the g-string? When was the last time you wore it? Exactly. I know the small working handcuffs are cute, but somehow I don't think anyone is going to get close enough to use them. OK, so the g-string goes, but there's still too much stuff. I'll unpack everything and start over again.
So I did that. And then I did it again. And again. Currently I have 7 pairs of socks packed....white socks, and 3 pairs of black....and a pair of brown, just in case.
This has been an official message from The Skinny Black Man!
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